Mistakes and forgiving people

I made some bad mistakes in my life that have led to wrong paths or bad situations to erupt in my life. Relationships or friends is what I'm referring too! But god can look upon me and forgive and forget because thats the way the almighty god is. Why can't people see that? Why do we feud over stuff that makes no sense? Why do we tend to go after someone for their past history of things they have done to you? Why do men tend to hold a woman for things she done in her past and why do women do the same? We just don't know how to let go do we? 22 years of my life and still don't get it! People say you can't change because once you done one thing wrong, you'll keep doing others. Well I say hell no. People can change but its on them to wanna change. No one can change you or make into someone you not. I just wanna know wat's ya opinions on this people!

Things are finally letting up

Man its finally happening. I've finally climbed over that mountian that I've been trying to get over for months and its finally getting to that point that I've made it. Its hard trying to prove to someone that you truly are faithful. I admit. I fucked up real lbad cuz I wasn't being fair. Love has its boundaries but I've managed to back away and stay inside that boundary. My future wife Jacquese Williams has showed me that in every way that if u got potential you can overcome any obstacle. I'm not perfect but I'm not suppose to keep making mistakes over and over again. Its like alot of weight has been lifted off my shoulders completely! I can be a complete fool to my woman sometimes and it takes a woman to stand up and leave you to do right. Yeah a hard head make a soft ass but sometimes ya gotta bump ya head to learn something. My woman is wonderful to me and can't replace anything. She's my soul mate and the woman that balances me out. She can only handle me and only me. As my woman says, "I'm the most trill bitch you can ever meet!" And you know wat its actually true cuz I witness it everyday! I'mma leave on this note, if u love ya woman and you doing wrong, tell the truth and get it over with cuz through it all, if she loves you enough, she won't leave and she'll remain by ya side and help you do better! Duces!!!!

I'm trying

I'm trying so hard to be what you ask me to be but its hard coming from the deep hole I made from cheating and lying to you. Its not easy baby. I made some fucked up decisions and can't take back the mistakes I made. I'm only human but damn even humans don't make that many mistakes. I love you too much baby but fate can't prevent you from walking away. If you decided to do me bogus, I couldn't do shit. I wanna be a man and it starts by telling the truth bout who I am. I made a foolish mistake. But I'm being a man and owning up to it. Being a man means you'll do anything to keep ya woman no matter what she wants you to be to her. I can't keep living my life like a dream. I'm still in my nightmare stages cuz my bad habits came back to haunt me. Its like I'm stuck in a doomed place. But I'm determined to break free from the dark hold. I'm not allowing the devil to invade my happiness no more. Jacquese Williams, you are my everything and you mean alot ot me. More than you can imagine. I am nothing without you. No woman can come close or even replace you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm fighting to the very last breath to keep you here. I can't be without you ever. You are my better half, my ying to my yang, the cream in my coffee. You are who I live for other than my daughter. Please understand I'm doing the best I can to be the man you want.

Honesty and truth

I look at myself and see something I never meant to be. What's wrong with me? I never once thought of hurting a woman no matter what they did or didn't do. This is not who I am. I'm living in the shadow's of the average man. Women say that you act like the average man and be a cheater and ya lie to much. I've became the very image I despise so much. I never wanted to be the average man cuz I have a promising future to look forward to with the woman of my life. It seems once you lay a foundation for who you are people tend to go with that and think that's who you are? Then they think you can't change at all. Its not true at all. Women think men are dogs but if you look closely, woman are no different then men. They do the things that men do but there position on that is they too slick to be caught up. I'm gonna put a little light into this subject. I can admit why I cheated. Nagging, keeping tabs, getting mad over petty stuff, assuming you always out cheating and jealousy. If you keep at it, it gives man or woman reason to find something that you think they doing. Me I did cuz of those reasons. It wasn't to find a reason, I got fed up cuz of the jealousy, nagging, keeping tabs, assuming you always cheating, and getting mad over petty stuff. Woman hate stuff like that just as much as men do. But that wasn't a good enough reason for me to go cheat. I was think about wat would happen but it seemed like I didn't care at all. To sum of where I'm going with this, Jacquese Williams, you deserve the world for the things you put up with when it comes to me. I made a huge mistake by doing what I did. Yet I'm trying so hard to redeem myself. Please see that's wat I am. I'm a man and not a boy. I love you more than anything in this world and I'll be damn if I let the next person take or even get a space in wat I have. I'm changing for you baby!

What happens in your relationship, remains in your relationship

I'm gonna keep it 100 ya'll, 80% of the time, relationships fall apart cuz people wanna put other people in your business. Let me just say this from personal experience. I've seen my relationship slowly drift and fall apart because of that. (Not the one I'm in now) On a real note, when you allow people in ya relationship it makes things complicated between you and your partner. A relationship is described as two people, emotionally, physically, and mentally with one another. Keywords: two people. Not 3,4,5,6. Thats where you go wrong. 9 out of 10 times when you talking to someone bout relationship problems its mostly the opposite sex you talking to. Men have a female friend they talk to and women have a male friend they talk to. But there is the fault. You allowing someone space to see whats the problem so they can either watch you fail, or find a way to get you from your partner. Thats what you call venerability. We all know bout that and men are mostly known for using it. On that note I'm leaving it at this, if you know what best, please take this advice!

Lately

It seems I've been having alot on my mind lately. Things are really changing in my life and it's not small changes that that happen over night it's major ones that are either for the better or for the rest. I got some major advice for people. First things first, men that are soon to be dads or ones that are dads, get off the shit that you on and do ya damn job.

You wanna complain when the female put you on child support and then she every name in the book. Haven't you figured out by now, she could care less what you do, she just want her child to have a dad in her life. Second thing, get ya life straight. Get out the fucking streets and get real job. If you can get out here and hustle then you fund a real job.

Women ya'll ain't off the hook neither cuz ya'll be on some real shit too. Stop letting ya pride get the best of you. Just because you all independent doesn't mean you don't need help every once and a while. Ya too damn independent to let a man help ya out? Next is being a woman.

Being a woman is alot to ya'll. But it doesn't mean acting stupid when ya baby daddy wants a part of his child's life! Everyone deserves a chance to change their lives around and make the best of it. Why you think prayer is a huge thing to most people. Prayer changes everything. So stop acting an ass when ya baby daddy wants to be a family man and take care if his child.

You don't have to be with him, but give ya child that family environment so that at least ya child can see that their mom and dad get along. I'm gonna focus on people I general now. We as people need to get up and face reality. We not meant to live to see tomorrow so go for whats happening today. Stop getting mad when someone talk shit cuz its just words.

Words mean nothing. So what he called you a bitch, but when the day is all said and done, you still love him and he still love you. I live my life by this rule of name calling. You can say what the fuck you wanna say, just don't put ya hands on me cuz then a whole different nigga. Thats just keeping it 100.

And one more thing thats on my mind is money. We need money to live right? But money ain't everything. Money is the root of all evil if ya haven't seen it happen. Money can't buy you everything in life either. You can be the richest person in the world and still be unhappy. Stop thinking ya gotta be rich to be happy cuz once its all said and done, the only real rich is real friends, real family, real people who care bout you for you and not ya money, and most of all a real person who was there before all the money was there. If you wanna make any comments do so!

Damage

When you love someone so much, you should never hurt them no matter what words come out their mouth! You will never physically, emotionally, or mentally, abuse the one you love no matter what. Today has opened my eyes to something that I thought nothing about til after it happen. How can you hold ya head high after doing something you said you said you never would do. God can you forgive me for my sins and wash them away. I am wrong and don't ever wanna do wrong by anyone for as long as I live. Sorry can erase the mistake I made but, changing as the time goes can. We all hurt and suffer from things we never thought we would hurt some from. So next time, stop before u think!

Lord can you hear me?

Lord, something isn't right. I'm crying out to you lord and nothing is happening. Have I asked for too much forgiveness? Have I made a wrong that you can't fix? Lord I need you right now lord. The devil is bringing his temptations on me lord and I'm hurting the ones I love. Lord can you hear? Wash away my sins and rebuke the devil from me. Cast him from my body so that I may be a holy soul to praise onto you my lord. Things in my life are falling apart. I'm making people disappointed in me because of what I've done. Lord can you hear me? I'm raising my arms to you lord to save me from this evil, this life of unwilling lies, and the wrong me hurt loved ones. I'm praying for change, but nothing is happening. Is it because I'm not meeting you half way lord? I need to find my true self. The one that would never hurt no one no matter how bad they hurt you. I need your lord. Lord can you hear me?

The love i have for you

Its wonderful to feel what love is about. You feel happiness that you've never felt before. How can you erase the pain of hurting someone you love? You can't. All you can do is progress forward and continue to love that person no matter what the outlook they have on you. You lied, cheated, even had sexual relationships with others. But is that love? No, its called attention. Love has no boundaries what so ever. Love is unconditional. I'm inlove with a beautiful woman that means the world to me. Its just so messed up that it can't get right. What path do you take to fix the hurt and pain. I have love for you but i wanna give you that for life.

Why

Why hurt me so bad by doing something to me that hurts so bad? I never thought that it would happen so I tried my best to avoid the pain. They say the things you do to hurt someone come back to bite you in the ass, well this really bit me hard. Its like a knife was stabbed in my back in the beginning, and now its getting shoved further and further into my back. Why is it suppose to be that way. Aren't we allowed chances to redeem ourself and stop the bad things from happening? But if things never progress, we never learn from our mistakes! Maybe its good to reap what you sew. Somebody tell me something?

Forgive and forget

Whatever happen to forgive and forget? Its seems that people have really thrown that idea out the window. People tend to hold grudges too much nowadays. It shouldn't be that way. We should go back to the old morals and values and cherish what our parents raised us on. Teach us that its wrong to hurt people just cuz they hurt you. Turn the other cheek and do unto others as they do to you. Forgive and Forget should really be something people need to do.

untitled

Again i'm faced wit choices that stress me out. I try not to think so hard but it never fails that I always do it. My mind can only go so far until it cracks under pressure. It's like things are unfolding to either cause harm to me, or send me into a state of mind that I feel helpless. Its like i'm being punished for past wrong things I've done. We are only human and god won't put too much on us that we can't handle it. But me, i guess i feel like its too much. I'm being to crack. Stress it ruling my everyday life. I can't sleep right, think straight, eat, or do anything for that matter. All i wanna do is stay in the house away from society so i can think clearly. But even that has its down fall. I pray so much that my voice is slowly going away. Its not much i can do cuz now its in god's hands.

My cry

Can't you see me crying my eyes out badly. I'm in so much fear and you blow it off like its not a problem. Everyday is something different for me to go through and its worse and worse. Can't you see the problem here? Don't you see that its not a matter of being with you, its a matter of loving you for eternity. But your overlooking it all. Are you hurting me cuz of the pain you took from me? I apologized to you time and time but it seems like its not good enough for you at all. I don't know wat to do anymore! Lord please help me.

Have you ever been

Have you ever been put in a situation that you caused yourself. To be put through pain that you put on someone else? I can admit that I have been in that situation. But its teaching me alot. I'm learning stuff I never experienced before. I admit, it hurts bad too. But I guess I deserve it for the things I've done. Life is wat you make it but you should never abuse the life you desire by hurting someone. That goes for anyone that has done wrong or has wrong done to them. Its like a recycling circle. Its keeps going around and never stops. Its a battle thats on going and it doesn't end. The true answer to avoiding that is think. Think about how that person feels when you make that mistake or before you do anything stupid. We not perfect at all. Only god is perfect. But we are only human and make mistakes. Next time, think about your partners feelings be whomever you wit. Cuz that determines how much you really love that person. Then say have you ever?

I'm sorry

I told you I would do anything for you. To accept me after what mess I caused. You told me to be a better man to you, but to me it seems like I'm still not good enough for you. I love you more than anything on earth. So to change is only what I feel is gonna work. I'm not that perfect to be everything you ask but even my effort isn't enough to pass. This is my fault no matter what you say. I made some mistakes that can't be taken away. You can't for get wat I've done to you, but I begged god for forgiveness to be accepted by you. But that still isn't enough to take the pain away from you. You think I don't think about your feelings but every night I think about wat things I did to hurt you. They say people are wat they are and can't change, but I believe everyone can change. No one is made to be perfect and I see that now. But to be the man you want I have to be close to it. I try as hard as I can to be accepted by you, but again I fail cuz I didn't do wat you ask me to do. Maybe I'm not as good as I seem but only god knows and he gave me a chance to redeem. Just see me for the man that loves you with his very last breath. At this moment I'll do anything to stay. I will not give up on wat I feel. Will you understand me and see wat I am. I used to be misguided acting like a boy, but you created a man who needs no toys. Baby if you see this, please think about wat you see. Realize that we are meant to be.